And I am committed to the effort of challenging myself during these months and writing about it. Even a month in it seems I'm starting from below ground zero. I think to myself dozens of times a day how unmindful I am right now and yet have not really gone the extra step from that conclusion to attempt to achieve a more mindful mental state. I suppose I am allowing myself this time to observe and make a TON of mindless mistakes? These past weeks have been a major losing-shit spree, during which I unburdened myself of items such as my wallet and a several-hundred-dollar pair of prescription sunglasses.
To "watch and not judge" myself in this is a struggle. I want to beat myself over the head and spend all day agonizing over my lost items and thinking about what an idiot I am. But largely, I have managed to stop myself.
And the raw food rule has at least ensured that every day, I spend time focused consciously on taking care of myself. When I am pouring Brazil nut powder into a food processor full of raw broccoli, I have to focus a good percentage of my mental energy on it. And as such, I am pretty much as far from work, synagogue commitments, other activities, as I ever get. It feels good to do this.
| Highly disappointing cashew cheese of my labor. And everything else in my fridge. |
So when I make my raw food, plan my meals, and put them together, am I in any way touching on mindfulness? Or am I just being productive?
I like to think there is some meditation in my food preparation, albeit not of the mindful sort. I am not consciously meditating through chopping or blending, and yet I am in a quasi-meditative state. The tasks are simple and attainable, with but they do not come naturally to me. My attention is focused on the recipe, measuring the oil, operating the device. And there is enough opportunity to be creative in the process to keep me engaged.
Osho has some really nice thoughts on mindfulness vs. goal-oriented productivity in his book "Creativity." Here's a quick summary...
ReplyDeleteHe distinguishes what he calls "action" vs. "activity." "Action comes out of a silent mind... Activity comes out of a restless mind... Action is creative. Activity is very destructive... For example, you are hungry, then you eat - this is action. But you are not hungry, you don't feel any hunger at all, and still you go on eating - this is activity.... Action is beautiful, action comes as a spontaneous response... Activity is never spontaneous, it comes from the past.... If this activity is there, you cannot relax... Ninety percent of your energy is wasted in activity. And because of this when the moment comes for action you don't have any energy."
Basically it seems he's talking about being in the moment which brings aliveness and energy, vs. being filled with thoughts of past & future, anxieties and wasteful thoughts that rob you of the Beauty of the present.