The raisin game, and going raw

Kabat-Zinn introduces his stress clinic through a mindful-eating experiment, which he summarizes as "we give everybody three raisins and we eat them one at a time, paying attention to what we are actually doing and experiencing from moment to moment."  (FCL at 27)

I first heard of this raisin game (term is mine) through a local orthodox rabbi, who did a seminar at Limmud, months before I had heard of Kabat-Zinn - the name of the seminar escapes me the moment, but it involved visualization experiments.  We did not do the raisin game, but the rabbi mentioned in describing related exercises that he apparently leads a practice involving eating raisins and that people tell him afterwards "wow, I've never tasted anything like that before!"  Although I adore this rabbi and find his approach inspiring, his remarks about this raisin class discomfited me.  I have no interest in having slow, sensual experiences with my food.  And the idea of a bunch of people sitting there with their eyes closed rolling raisins around their tongues and thinking of adjectives about it is a bit repulsive to me.

Then a therapist actually had me do the experiment.  This was again before I had read any Kabat-Zinn.  I tried to participate fully with an open mind - seriously, I tried - but I sucked at it.  You have to stare at the raisin and smell it and feel it before you eat it.  You are supposed to notice the differences between the raisins and all that.  I was fairly impatient with this.  Ok, this is a flat, wrinkly raisin.  And once we got into the eating part, I didn't like thinking about raisins getting moist and plump in my mouth.  Perhaps I would have enjoyed the exercise more with a regular fruit.  Raisins remind me too much of shriveled-up umbilical cords and over-soaked fingertips.  

Personally, the joy I experience from food comes from shoveling large quantities of it down my throat quickly and continuously until I feel full.  Said food is typically cheesy, fried, or both.  Food in the way I experience it is amazing.  Eating is my favorite activity.  I am even a decent enough cook, if a bit limited.  When I lose faith in all else in the world, I am often able to comfort myself somewhat by thinking about some delicious consumable.  Mmmmmm.  Food.

And I tend to disagree that my devouring eating style means I do not appreciate food or that I'm somehow missing some dimension of it.  I did not particularly enjoy those raisins or the act of eating them.  I also tried slow/mindful eating of a cinnamon roll on December 27 and did not feel like the cinnamon roll tasted better or worse. I was only frustrated because I wanted to eat it faster.  

So I am not what you would call a "mindful" eater by nature.  But as a vegetarian since 2010 and keeping some level of kosher for over 15 years, I consider myself a thoughtful eater.  Kashrut, by the way, has been described as "Judaism's compromise with the ideal of vegetarianism."  (Prager & Telushkin, The Nine Questions People Ask about Judaism, at 59.)  I do not have real trouble abstaining from certain ingredients (meat, or chametz during Passover) altogether, or fasting on Yom Kippur.  I even tried veganism once before, again inspired by the month of Tu B'Shvat last year.  But try to get me to control portion sizes or just generally eat healthier, or slower, or less?  Good luck.

So I begin my approach to eating mindfully for these six months with what works for me - ingredient control.  While still a work in progress, this is what I'm aiming for right now:

• Arden's Garden 2-day juice detox, starting yesterday
• 75% raw food diet, otherwise vegan, until Tu B'Shvat (2/8)
• Vegan diet, goal of 50%+ raw for the remainder of the 6 months, but allowing myself to indulge in dairy/eggs on Shabbat and possibly other special occasions
• On Shabbat, trying to eat at least one meal slowly/mindfully

Raw food will be a major challenge, especially in winter when a bowl of hot soup or a cup of hot coffee always sounds so nice... I think 75% sounds like a good goal, but there are certainly some that suggest you won't get the benefits if you don't go all the way.  In any case, I hope raw foods will help improve my eating habits and assist in my mindfulness goals.