Put this on my timeline, facebook

I deactivated my facebook account last night.  This entry is going to probably me more soapbox-y than mindful, but I think it's important.

I didn't plan to quit facebook for this blog, but it actually works nicely with the theme of mindfulness.  Facebook has been a time drain that brings out the worst in me.  While I enjoy hearing of others' happy life events, it really does breed a kind of unbecoming discomfort that I do not believe I would otherwise have.  "How come Yolanda 'liked' Colleen's post about the a cappella gig and not mine?" "Even Hugh and Wendy are 'in a relationship' with each other now... how come I'm not?" "There are only thirteen people RSVPed for this show....PANIC" "OMG, Jeeves is going to that party, now I don't know if I want to go."  And facebook outright refuses to stop showing me engagement-ring ads, no matter how many times I tell facebook that I find such ads "offensive."

Clearing facebook out of my life will undoubtedly bring its logistical challenges, but it also undoubtedly allows more space for me to be mindful.  So I am resolved to stay off of facebook for these six months, maybe longer.

I was one of facebook's earlier users, signing up at the behest of my college friends back in 2004, when it was only available to alums of certain schools.  Since it got huge, I have been extremely--and vocally--wary of its progressively more brazen intrusion into people's information.  Now, I do not consider myself a particularly private person.  I have no concern sharing my information with grocery stores by using a frequent shopper card, etc.  I tell most people most of my secrets if they want to know.  I have a frigging blog and in fact have had a public site or a blog off and on since 1999.

But in the end, I need to feel that I have ultimate control over my information, which is something that I lack on facebook.

With facebook's latest addition of "timeline" - itself possibly the most absurdly bait-and-switch uber-contextualization of user information I have seen, even from facebook- two things concern me much more than in the past:

(1) facebook did this on the heels of an FTC settlement.  Meaning that either the FTC has accepted facebook's version of reality or facebook just doesn't care and knows it can strongarm the FTC.
(2) there is now an actual backlash against people who are concerned about their privacy and facebook's manipulation of data.  "Shut up, you just don't like change," articles and friends have said to me.  So I am apparently anti-progressive because I do not want people to be able to know my entire life story in easy-click year-by-year form.

After accusing me of hating on change, commentators/facebook junkies' next sentence is "you won't quit."  (The linked article, whose not-so-subtle conclusion is "you'll get used to it, just like you'll get used to whatever plate of steaming crap facebook hands to you in the future," is one of the most alarming things I've read in this topic area and was instrumental in my decision to quit.  Here's another.)

As I have been saying since at least 2009, facebook takes advantage of the fact that people depend on it.  They continually change the terms, and rely on the fact that protestations are futile because people want to see their friends' baby pictures more than they want to insist on controlling their privacy.   That's scary to me, and I have been considering how to extricate myself from their power net for some time now.  This one did push me over the edge.  I am actually very grateful for the convenient timing.

Please note that I do not judge you for deciding to stay on facebook and/or embrace the timeline.  This is a personal philosophy and a personal statement I feel I need to make, and it happens to line up with my life plan for this year.  But I'm really not evangelizing here.  Facebook away.  I realize that I will need to rely on my close friends to find out from facebook about some things that are going on anyway.

My response to other defenses of timeline/warnings about my decision to quit after the jump.

(1) You CAN control it!  You can limit each individual post to a specific group of people or hide it from the timeline entirely!

In order to do that, I have to review each individual post.  I have been on facebook for seven years and pretty actively so.  The amount of time that would take me would cost a client $5,000 or more.  Much easier to quit, especially since I have no idea what's coming up, and it's quite possible I'll just have to repeat the process of reviewing each individual post to make sure it doesn't show up on the next thing.  If facebook changes this so that I can hide years or even months at a time, I will probably come back at the end of the six months.  But facebook does not currently offer this feature, because facebook does not really want people to have this control.

(2) You can change all your past posts to friends-only!

Yes.  But two things.  (i) I have 753 friends.  The number of people I would be comfortable seeing my  "timeline" is probably about 30 or less.  I considered gutting my friends list, but that seemed kind of harsh.  Again, if facebook changes this so I can change all my past posts to a specific friends list that I designate, I will probably come back at the end of the six months.  But facebook does not currently offer this feature, because facebook does not really want people to have control over their information.  And (ii) Changing all past posts to friends-only actually INCREASES the number of people who can view some of my posts that were previously limited to a specific list.  It was still the safer course, given that I wasn't sure off the top of my head exactly what I had posted to "friends of friends" or "public" in the past.

(3) But that information was already accessible to people, so what are you complaining about?

Yes, I fully admit that I am partly blame for this mess, but it doesn't change the result.  If I do not want my information displayed in this way, I have no choice but to leave.  And I posted information based on a reality where people on my friends list yes, could click a hundred times to get to my wall from 2004, but realistically were not going to do so.  I posted information based on a reality where my wall was separate from my photos and others' photos of me, and where there is really no way for people to see what events I attended.

(4) Your social life will DIE.

We'll see.  It's a legitimate threat, but I think I can prevent it.  There's already one party I missed an invite to that I would want to go to, but most of what I get on facebook is garbage that overwhelms me.  I am too busy as it is.  It is just as well that things happen without my knowledge.  And I am looking forward to remembering people's birthdays and not having the option to just post on their wall so that I have stuck my flag in the ground of "I either remembered your birthday or logged onto facebook today."

(5) You are an admin of a number of groups.  WTF.

Yes, I'm sorry about that and that's been what's held me back from quitting many times over the last year.  But this is something I have to do for me.  Maybe I will be back in six months.  In the meantime, I am happy to tweet about those groups.