2012

The beginning of 2012 comes with a lot of self-imposed changes for me.  The word "resolutions" comes to mind, but doesn't quite fit somehow.

I must note the slow start to my formal and informal mindfulness practice, which was to begin in earnest December 27.  I have not done the body scan meditation every day.  And I have not made a real big effort to be mindful in my daily life.  And I have not even written in this blog as much as I want to.

To the extent I have disappointed myself by not starting strong on December 27 as promised, judging myself for missing that *date* cutoff accomplishes little and does not advance mindfulness.  There is an odd balance between nonjudgment/nonstriving, an attitude that is lauded in mindfulness teachings, and making effort for personal growth.  And--as my sister pointed out to me in explaining that this blog is itself not particularly consistent with her mindfulness path--there is more than a little tension in the notion of practicing mindfulness and writing about practicing mindfulness.  This merits a longer discussion in a separate post.

Here's to accepting 2011 for what it was, and nonstriving for a mindful 2012.